Harry's Wonderland
by Alice Number Five
Summary: Crossover with american mcgee's alice:maddness returns What if harry had a wonderland who would be in it? What would it be like? smart/powerful harry slash h/v only crossover from the weapons and the idea of the wonderland no need to know the plot of american mcgee's alice:maddness returns.
1. Chapter 1

ANF- Okay i just stayed up all fucking night watching american mcgee's Alice and american mcgee's Alice: Maddness Return's on youtube and this hit me.

Harry- You need to sleep more often!

ANF- Yeah well would you rather me not write? Thought so!

Harry- She don't own nothing but the plot and oc's and some of the place's in my wonderland!

**spell**

**Harry's Wonderland**

**Chapter 1: Wonderland**

**H P.O.V.**

I was in pain and slowly i started to slip away when i awoke i was in a weird place there was a boy around my age. "Hello i'm tom who are you?" he asked "i'm Harry" i told him "would you like to be my friend harry?" he said "sure why not" i replied. "Do you want to learn how to control your magic?" he asked "magic isn't real!" i yell "i swear it is!" he said.

"Cross your heart and hope to die?" i say "stick a needle in my eye" he said finishing the rhyme "show me tom!" i said with puppy dog eye's "okay" he said. Sudenly a book came flying at us "wow cool" i said in awe[ANF- hey he's like 2 he has never had a friend and never seen any magic he will become colder and smarter later though!] **"Eyeglasion"**[ANF- yeah i made up a fucking spell okay] he whispered sudenly thing's became blurry so i took my glasses off and i could see just fine.

"Oh my morgana" i screamed "happy birthday harry" he said "oh yeah where are we" i asked "it's your mind well your wonderland" he said "oh so is there any one else here" i asked. "Yes i am here as well young one so are the other five" said a man he didn't know "really salazar i thought you were well enough learned in maners to interduce yourself first!" said tom.

"Oh how right you are i am Salazar Slytherin" the man said "Well i am helga slytherin nee hufflepuff" said a woman who came out of nowhere. "Wait does that mean your sal's wife?" i asked unsure "yes my dear" she said "wait what's that" i said pointing at the knife i just relized was there "pick it up to see" said a snake that just seemed to pop up [ANF- guess who it's replacing]so i did as soon as i picked it up i saw a card

The Vorpal Blade

goes snicker-snack

it leave's them dead

"The Vorpal Blade is swift and keen, and always ready for service." Said the snake disapearing.

* * *

**The real world**

* * *

"Are you okay boy?" asked a man i didn't know "yes" i said back "im sorry to say that you the only one who made it" said the man "so im going to a orphonage?" I asked "yes" he said.

* * *

ANF- done yay!

Harry- okay so review telling her whether or not you think we should have a time skip to age eleven in the next chapter becuse she can't chose which and she has idea's for both!


	2. Chapter 2

ANF- Yeah so i decieded to timeskip! sorry if you didn't want me to.

Harry- There will be flashback's to explain stuff.

ANF- Yep and i thought of a great twist to piss of dumbledore!

WARNING: FROM NOW ON OUT THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN dUMBLEDORE BASHING AND WEASLY BASHING ON ALL BUT THE TWIN'S AND SLASH!

**Harry's Wonderland**

**Chapter 2: letter's**

**Timeskip nine year's later**

**H P.O.V.**

"Tom are you sure it will work?" i asked my boyfriend "yes" he said.

* * *

**Flashback: four year's ago**

* * *

"Harry would you like to go to see a movie together?" tom asked "like a date sal and helg told me if you date someone it mean's you love them?" i said "um well kinda only if you want it to be" he said. "Would you be mad if i said i did?" i asked "no it would make me veary happy if you did" he replied "well then i guess it's a date" i said blushing as red a weasly's hair

* * *

**Flashback over!**

* * *

that's when two owl's arrived both with a letter in claw i got them both "tom our letter's are here!" i yelled he ran down the stair's "open your's first" he told me

the envelope said

To: Harison Potter-Black-Slytherin-Gryffindor-Hufflepuff-Le'fay

At: the black castle queen's room

From: Hogwart's school of witchcraft and wizardry.

I opened it.

_Dear lord Potter-Black-Slytherin-Gryffindor-Hufflepuff-Le'fay_

_i am most glad to say that you have been acepted into hogwart's school of witchcraft and wizardry. There is a list of supplies you will need on the back of thiss letter._

_sincerly_

_albus dumbledore headmaster of hogwart's_

i turned it over

First-year students will require:

Uniform

Three Sets of Plain Work Robes (Black)

One Plain Pointed Hat (Black) for day wear

One Pair of Protective Gloves (dragon hide or similar)

One Winter Cloak (Black, silver fastenings)

Please note that all student's clothes should carry name-tags.

Books

_The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)_ by Miranda Goshawk

_A History of Magic_ by Bathilda Bagshot

_Magical Theory_ by Adalbert Waffling

_A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_ by Emeric Switch

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ by Phyllida Spore

_Magical Drafts and Potions_ by Arsenius Jigger

_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ by Newt Scamander

_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_ by Quentin Trimble

Other Equipment

1 Wand

1 Cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set of glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set of brass scales

Students may also bring an Owl OR a Cat OR a Toad. and any type of familiar they might have seeing as a familiar canot be seperated from it's master.

(PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS.)

"Open your's tom!" i yelled

his envelope said

To: Thomas Ravenclaw

At: the black castle king's room

From: Hogwart's school of witchcraft and wizardry.

_Dear lord Ravenclaw_

_i am most glad to say that you have been acepted into hogwart's school of witchcraft and wizardry. There is a list of supplies you will need on the back of thiss letter._

_sincerly_

_albus dumbledore headmaster of hogwart's_

"Yay it worked the old coot won't know what hit his maniplative arse!" i yelled "i know my love" tom said.

ANF- So how do you like it!

Tom- We are so gonna kick that old man's ass!

Harry- reveiw and get some cookie's

ANF- no cookie's only more yaoi action!

Tom- Yeah this is the dark side we don't give out cookie's *start's kissing harry*

ANF- Yay!

*a hour later*

ANF- Okay there still kising so im gonna wrap thiss up bye!


	3. Chapter 3

ANF- Hey!

**A/N Okay this is anoying i know but it had to be done this is a poll anouncement but i don't like the fact that only people who have account's can vote so reveiw telling me your answer. What power's should harry have? if you made it up put what it does all sugestions will be considered and the best's will be cosen by me and my sister.**

**Harry's Wonderland**

**Chapter 3: shoping**

**H P.O.V.**

"Harry who will you take as your framiliar's?" tom asked "Ric and Row you" i said "Sal and Helg" he said

* * *

**Flashback: eight year's andelevan month's ago.**

* * *

"Harry this is Godric Gryffindor" said Helga "Hi Lad" said Godrick "hello i am Rowena Ravenclaw" she said.

* * *

**Flashback: Over!**

* * *

Ric's animal was a fire lion he was in cub form now Row's was a moon owl the most intelagent bird out there. Sal was a water snake and Helg was a honey badger.

"You ready guy's and girl's" tom said we all nodded he apparated us to the leaky cauldron. we went to the bank and got our money we then went to kokero's wand shop "we want custom wand's please" tom said "sure" said the old man "place your hand over the wood and see which one call's you" he eplained a white and black peice of wood turned out to be mine "this is wood from Alice Lidell's wonderland" he said. tom did the same as me a black and green wood responded to him "this wood is from the tree of life,death, and imortality" he said "do the same with the core" he told us so i did two bottle's of somthing were pulled to me "baslick venom and pheonix tear's" he said tom did the same as me two thing's also responded to him "thressal hair and unicorn blood" he said "come back at the end of the day"he said "Bye" i said as i was draged out by tom.

Next we went to the robe's store there i talked to a boy named draco

"hello i am lord Potter-Black-Slytherin-Gryffindor-Hufflepuff-Le'fay" i said " i am draco heir to the malfoy family" he said we both bursed out laghing "this is the begining of a veary nice friendship" i say "yes it is" he said "harry i got our robe's it's time to go" yelled tom "tom are you okay?" i asked him. "Of cource not you were flirting with him!" he yelled "no i wasn't tom i swear!" i say "prove it" he said so i did i grabbed his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. it lasted for a couple seconed's before he pulled away "im sorry" he whispered "it's okay tom but don't forget that i love you no matter what.

"Our wand's should be done by now" he said so we went back to kokero's shop " your's is good for the dark and light art's, healing, and parslemagick" he told me handing me my wand in a case. " your's is good for the dark art's, parslemagick, and defence" He told tom "you won't tell right" tom said "no i hate Dumbledore he's to maniplative" he said "well we should get going home" we said so we apparated back to the black castle.

ANF- Done

Harry- reveiw and vote for the poll up there!

Tom- Bye!


	4. Chapter 4

ANF- Hey

Harry- we're back wanker's!

Tom- we're going to hogwart's!

Harry- She don't own nothing but the plot and oc's and some of the place's in my wonderland!

**A/N hey im done with the poll no one reveiwed so im going with Metamorphmagus, elemental, shape-shifting [turning into any animal at will], Hysteria[when he is hurt badly he can tranform into a demon like form and cause more harm with his wepon's],Shrinking[make's him small and able to see thing's that other's can't], Gigantic [make's him big enough to kill his enemy's by steping on them and able to knock bown wall's with his hand's],Snake Doge [This power allows him to evade enemy attacks by turning into a swarm of snake's and mist, which lets him move quicker then running],Floating [allow's him to float through the air], and Grasshopper [he is able to jump higher and run faster when this is activated]**

_song's_

**Harry's Wonderland**

**Chapter 4: sorting!**

**H P.O.V.**

"Hey tom can we go to Bella's domain and get some magi-tech?" i asked "why not i mean they do have some frigen awsome game's!" said tom who had became a magi-gamer when they first met bella in this world [ANF-i just decieded who the mad hater like person would be bellatrix she certanly is mad enough!] "oh harry my sweety i just got that new magi-top it's black with blood red lightning on it oh and tom your's is here to it's blood red with black lightning" bella said. "thank's bella do you have magi-3D DS's yet?" i asked "yep a black one for the queen and a red one for the king" she said "Thank's!" we yelled befor we grabbed a bunch of vocaloid english dub cd's and some other one's and of cource sim's and left.

* * *

**Time skip the first of september**

* * *

me and tom we're siting in the train "harry do want to listen to some song's?" he asked "sure baby doll gone wrong by skye sweetnam" i said. [ANF-I don't own this song]

_Na na na_  
_Na na na_

_Na na na_  
_Na na na_

_I am a new breed of doll_  
_Psycho baby doll gone wrong_  
_Toolbelt with a lollipop_  
_Curling iron, Kalashnikov_

_I am a new breed of doll_  
_Fighting for a brave new world_  
_Gas mask and a magic wand_  
_Bulldozer and tutu on_

_Load up, load up_  
_March to the future_  
_Lipstick, I might kill you or kiss ya_  
_Baby doll gone wrong_

_She cries real tears_  
_In her bed tonight_  
_Press the button right_  
_She will glow so bright_  
_She bleeds real blood_  
_Cut her with a knife_  
_She'll fight for her life_  
_But it's you who dies_  
_Surprise, surprise_

_Catch me_  
_Can you still believe_  
_My name_  
_And can't you see this_  
_Baby doll gone wrong_

_I am a new breed of doll_  
_Crash helmet and halo on_  
_Jackhammer and my apron_  
_Throw my head back, sing a song_

_I am a new breed of doll_  
_Mace you with my aerosol_  
_Tinkerbell and S&M_  
_Bumper car that has a brain_

_Load up, load up_  
_March to the future_  
_Lipstick, I might kill you or kiss ya_  
_Baby doll gone wrong_

_She cries real tears_  
_In her bed tonight_  
_Press the button right_  
_She will glow so bright_  
_And she bleeds real blood_  
_Cut her with a knife_  
_She'll fight for her life_  
_But it's you who dies_  
_Surprise, surprise_

_In her bed tonight_  
_Press the button right_  
_She will glow so bright_  
_And she bleeds real blood_  
_Cut her with a knife_  
_She'll fight for her life_  
_But it's you who dies_  
_Surprise, surprise_

_Baby doll_  
_I'll kick the boys and make them fall_  
_Baby doll_  
_I'll kick the boys and make them fall_

_Sugar and razor blade_  
_Acid pink lemonade_  
_That's how baby dolls are made_  
_We misbehave_  
_We misbehave_

_Load up, load up_  
_March to the future_  
_Lipstick, I might kill you or kiss ya_  
_Baby doll gone wrong_

_She cries real tears_  
_In her bed tonight_  
_Press the button right_  
_She will glow so bright_  
_She bleeds real blood_  
_Cut her with a knife_  
_She'll fight for her life_  
_But it's you who dies_  
_Surprise, surprise_

_In her bed tonight_  
_Press the button right_  
_She will glow so bright_  
_She cries real tears_  
_Cut her with a knife_  
_She'll fight for her life_  
_But it's you who dies_  
_Surprise, surprise_

"There are you better harry?" he ask's in a sweet voice "yes" i say "well i think we should get into our robe's now" he suggest's so we do all the while he and i were staring at eachother. we were lead to the castle by somone who had there WAND SNAPPED i mean letting him teach he never finished hogwart's!

The sorting came the hat's song was

_*oh this year i greet two very special people,_

_from a land no one know's of but few._

_and i know as hard as i try to sort them,_

_they will belong every where so i will open chamber's long forgotten to man._

_I know one of you already and the other i know to,_

_im sure you know of who i speak of when i say she will be happy._

_please don't play with fire my dear's,_

_you will surely end up being burnt._

_And if you need advice heed the cat,_

_or in your case snake!*_

I smirk at that

"Aline, Fern."

Ravenclaw!

"bones,Susan"

Hufflepuff!

"Canvon,Samule"

Gryfindor!

i stoped listening till "Malfoy, Draco" was called out

Slytherin!

again i fazed out

"Potter-Black-Slytherin-Gryffindor-Hufflepuff-Le'fay-Lidell, Harison"

i had claimed the Lidell fourtion as my own two day's ago. I walked up to the hat and sat on the stool she put the hat on me

"Lidell's house of wonderland!"

the hat yelled and a new table appeared it's sign was The Vorpal Blade and The Jabberwock's Eye Staff crossing making a x and a teacher apeared at the table i laghed my butt off it was the snake in it's human form who's name is mystria "i will teach you to master your special power's" she said "and my weapon's?" i asked "yes" she said "oh and Here's a riddle. When is a croquet mallet like a billy club?" she asked "whenever i want it to be" i answered.

"Potter, Rose"

Gryfindor!

"Ravenclaw, Thomas"

"Lidell's house of wonderland!"

and he joined me

next was called

"Roxxen, Isabella"

a girl who looked a lot like bella went up to the hat and put it on with a grin

"Lidell's house of wonderland!"

the hat yelled

sshe walked over and smiled "hey my dear's" she said "Bella you came?" we said "yes i didn't tell you becuse it's supose to be a suprize" she said with a mad grin "the three mad gamer's are here" we whispered the sorting ended with

"zarine, clare"

being put into ravenclaw

albus dumbledor stood up "Welcome!" he said. "Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!  
"Thank you!"

we all ate our fill when the feast was over we moved to leave "i would like to have a word with you children" said dumbledore.

ANF-done!

Harry-next chapter will be talk's to dumbledore:(

Tom:Bye.


End file.
